This is my dad (Bubba, as i like to call him). I worry about his health, every day & night. Every now and then i bug him with questions. Because......I'm terrified of "what if." You see he drinks quite often, and i worry about his liver among other things. The age 21, is usually considered an adult (even though legally, 18 is. Its the whole ability to drink thing), so why an almost 20 year old worrying about her father. I worry about everything. . especially about him. He probably knows it......i think. But i can never bring myself to tell him upfront, because i know i will tear up (like now). I can't imagine a world without my Bubba.
Maybe i do this to myself. Worrying, i mean. I don't have to, but i do. I worry about my mom also, will she come back to us & my dad. Will she be OK living on her own. I used to tease her that i would put her in a nursing home when she got old. But i don't think i can ever bring myself to do it. I love my mom dearly, i would rather take care of her myself.
Jessica & Danny. Do i worry about them??? Almost as much as my dad. I want them to do good....no, GREAT. Sure they may fight, but i get to see those moments that shows they truly love each other. (And i wouldn't give those up for anything) I want my sister to go into baking. Sure she isn't a professional, but she loves it. Isn't that what matters. She has what it takes. (I believe in her) And Danny.....well Danny loves music. So much that its sickening. Loves technology to, maybe one day those two will combine. Danny i think can be happy with anything, he's just that type of person who. . . . sees the good in all.
Today i never felt more like an adult. You know how you were little, tucked in your bed, and your parents would check if the monster under your bed was gone. Well it wasn't necessarily like that today. (I know I know, "where is she going with this?") I cleaned the house today. Why? Because i can. All the rooms....... So it was time to go to sleep. Dad was asleep on the couch and Jess was just about almost to knock out on the couch. I don't know what compelled me to do it. But I got up off my seat, went into her room. Unrolled the big green (THICK) blanket, and got her bed ready so she could just lay down. I did the same for my dad. Got all the glasses & plates out of the living room. Took my dad's phone to his room (before he lost it) Woke up my dad (more gently than i usually do). And went outside to lock the gate. Now isn't this what parents are suppose to do? So why am i??
I don't mind. I'm not looking for "thank you" or "how nice" from anyone. I just want to know why am i doing this?
When did i become an adult??
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