Your Late, your late, for a very important date.....well early :D

March 28th

A Very Merry Unbirthday....to me....to you.... (WELL ME)!!!

Since my birthday fell on a Monday this year, we decided to semi-celebrate it on the Sunday. With HUGE BURGERS!! Cake & NEW MOON :D

However, the morning of the 28th wasn't so pretty. I woke up at 3:15 a.m.!!! Why?? Because my stupid wisdom tooth started hurting!!! (in the words of Peanut) LIKE HELL!!! So i took 3 Alieve, that usually does the trick, didn't work. I started moving rapidly, jumping up and down, because....well it hurt that much. i couldn't take it! So i decided to take a shower, taking 4 more Alieve. It hurt so much i decided to lay down in the tub, mind you I'm 5'10" and the shower is like 5' long. But i managed to lay down, putt my cheek against the cold tub, having the hot water run on my feet. I ended up falling asleep for 1o minutes. After that i kind of felt disoriented. But i was still in pain. So i took 3 Advil. It wasn't until 5 o'clock that i was able to go to sleep.

And i didn't wake up til after 12! :D Within the next two-three hours, it was time to make GIGANTIC BURGERS!!!!

YUM!!!

Than Cake & Presents it was time for! My loving sister, Jessica, made me a Strawberry swirl cake with a cream cheese frosting. One word....DELICIOUS!!!! I was looking forward to receiving my decoupage box (NOT!!). Just when i was doubting my family not knowing me, they all go in and get me the BEST presents, but then again, i did tell them what i would be happy with.....LOL.

What so great about being normal?

I HATE . . . . HATE . . . . .HATE when people look through my sketches. Its like going through someones diary or checkbook. But I am particularly fond of one sketch. I don't know why. Can't explain it, so don't make me.

People always talk about being unique. But yet they want to be normal. So what, your accepted into society, BUT you have to give up what makes you....well you. Where is the fairness in that. People judge other people for being different, if its their sexuality, their wardrobe, their taste in food, anything. Some people live to break others down. But really no one can break you down, if you don't let them....

to infant.....to child.....to adult

It seems like only yesterday i just had my "Beauty & the Beast" birthday party. And now, only two days away from my 20th birthday. Where did the time go? I have no clue. Don't you miss the days of not worrying about money, about the next step in your life, school, health (in general). I know i do. That's all i can think about these days.

This is my dad (Bubba, as i like to call him). I worry about his health, every day & night. Every now and then i bug him with questions. Because......I'm terrified of "what if." You see he drinks quite often, and i worry about his liver among other things. The age 21, is usually considered an adult (even though legally, 18 is. Its the whole ability to drink thing), so why an almost 20 year old worrying about her father. I worry about everything. . especially about him. He probably knows it......i think. But i can never bring myself to tell him upfront, because i know i will tear up (like now). I can't imagine a world without my Bubba.

Maybe i do this to myself. Worrying, i mean. I don't have to, but i do. I worry about my mom also, will she come back to us & my dad. Will she be OK living on her own. I used to tease her that i would put her in a nursing home when she got old. But i don't think i can ever bring myself to do it. I love my mom dearly, i would rather take care of her myself.

Jessica & Danny. Do i worry about them??? Almost as much as my dad. I want them to do good....no, GREAT. Sure they may fight, but i get to see those moments that shows they truly love each other. (And i wouldn't give those up for anything) I want my sister to go into baking. Sure she isn't a professional, but she loves it. Isn't that what matters. She has what it takes. (I believe in her) And Danny.....well Danny loves music. So much that its sickening. Loves technology to, maybe one day those two will combine. Danny i think can be happy with anything, he's just that type of person who. . . . sees the good in all.

Today i never felt more like an adult. You know how you were little, tucked in your bed, and your parents would check if the monster under your bed was gone. Well it wasn't necessarily like that today. (I know I know, "where is she going with this?") I cleaned the house today. Why? Because i can. All the rooms....... So it was time to go to sleep. Dad was asleep on the couch and Jess was just about almost to knock out on the couch. I don't know what compelled me to do it. But I got up off my seat, went into her room. Unrolled the big green (THICK) blanket, and got her bed ready so she could just lay down. I did the same for my dad. Got all the glasses & plates out of the living room. Took my dad's phone to his room (before he lost it) Woke up my dad (more gently than i usually do). And went outside to lock the gate. Now isn't this what parents are suppose to do? So why am i??

I don't mind. I'm not looking for "thank you" or "how nice" from anyone. I just want to know why am i doing this?

When did i become an adult??

I am AUDREY hear me ROAR!

(Apologies if this turns into a rant)

I'm a shy girl, i admit that. Sometimes (majority of the time) I let people walk all over me. I let people make some decisions for me. I hate confrontation, I avoid it when I can. When I argue with someone, I immediately start to cry. Sure that may seem like a sign of weakness. But can you guess how much strength it takes to hold in your emotions every single day. To cry when your alone. To yell at the sky when no one can hear you.

I've been hearing "advice" (Strong opinions as i like to call it) from my sister, her friends, and my parents about my relationships for a good while now. I know they probably mean well. But honestly who are they to be telling me anything. Any of them, I'm quiet most of time, when I'm not being funny or loud. And I'm not confused about everything, I sit, I observe. I probably know more about my family then they do about me. (My opinion, not a fact)

Today it bugged me really bad, when my sister told me about something her friend said about a boy i DID like. I ask you, how did he know I liked this boy. I certainly didn't tell him. But yet they form their own opinions. Well to you all my sisters friends, you don't know me. I don't know you. So what makes you think that you have the right to have an opinion on my life. (And this isn't the first time) Yes i may be the little sister to one of your closest friends, but that means nothing. It gives you nothing. When i want your advice/opinion I'll ask for it.

Its funny though, on all my relationships everyone has had an opinion. Except for one. The one where i need someone. The one i need someone to help me through. But i just sat there and took the blows. I sat in the classroom, where everyone knew everything. Where were the opinions then?!?!?

I'm 19 years old. And I like being alone. How many people can admit that?!? Yeah sometimes i get lonely, but I'm not one to look back and regret.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

-E.E. Cummings, 1955

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."

-E.E. Cummings

Daniel Wentworth Hiton

This is Danny

Danny is getting married to my sister, Jessica.

So why am i writing about the guy who is marrying my sister?? Hmmm......i don't have an answer for that. OH YEAH! Because Danny does some funny shiznit! And something he, himself, is unaware of. The other day i decided to watch . . . . .

and it remind me of Danny. And no he isn't a vampire or white. LOL Because when i first bought the DVD, i watched it like a hundred times. And one of the times my dad, Jessica & Danny saw it with me. And Danny.....well he wasn't himself. But during the whole movie, he was crackin' jokes about the scenes, and whenever someone else started to talk he would just says "SSHHH!" (Like if he was really watching the movie) But the funniest part was when Bella's mom (played by Sarah Clarke) appeared on the screen when Bella was in the hospital after the fight. He just started freaking out, not sure if he got scared or just thought she looked ugly. But trust me it was a funny sight.

Danny is like a brother to me, seriously. He's been around since i was 14. (And I'm gonna be 20 in a couple days) I've seen him and Jessica's relationship grow, probably more than anyone else. Which had its good and bad moments. But what that proved to me, was that those two could probably go through anything together.

But Danny to me, will always be the Danny that freaked out during "Twilight". Even if he doesn't remember it, because i do. :D

Jessica's Bridal Shower

March 20, 2010

The BRIDE:

The day got off to a bumpy start. Why? It started to rain!! Is that a big deal? PSH! yeah, it was an outside party.

Approximately, at 9 o'clock i started putting the decorations up. Reinforcements came (Tia Anna, Annie & Victoria) to help chop food to make chicken & tuna sandwiches. Later my mom joined us. Of course my father was still there helping setting up the tables, and getting ice, you know, manly stuff. Finally, at 12:30 (approximately) we finished chopping. It was time to eat lunch, and get semi ready. We ended up ordering Pizza, I ate it up quickly because me and my cousin Annie needed to leave to pick up the cake.

Read http://intheeyesoftheconfused.blogspot.com/2010/03/cake-scare.html

When we arrived it was time, to start mixing the stuff for the chicken & tuna sandwiches. Assembling and chopping them as well. (Whoop De Do) As we were almost done, i was forced to go and do my hair. Why? Their (Jessica, Annie, Victoria, and my mother) reason was because my dress was too pretty to wear it in a pony-tail. So that's what i did. I put half a thing of moose and some hair spray (still it wasn't enough, I have thick and long hair). But it got them to stop bossing me. I went outside to help set up, while the rest got ready. My turn to get dressed, i put on my pretty red heels, but later i realized, i should've waited to put my shoes on. So i kicked them off, and walked barefoot until everything was outside. (except the food)

The turn out was low (about 16 people showed up from the 70 invites we sent). Later we found out that people forgot & also got lost. (Which seems weird, because we included a map and a number to call in case they got lost)

I think what made it better was that our 2 cousins (Annie & Victoria) & 2 friends (Joana & Ma Jackson) are very out-going. And plus, we all looked good. :D

Overall, it was a good day. If you can "conceive" that. LOL

Red in a sea of white.

I know I'm different, i don't need a book or anyone else to tell me that. I don't find clothes that are long enough, I don't party, I don't drink, I don't have sex, I don't do drugs, I don't.........

Is it because I'm weird, am i abnormal? Or is it my better judgement? I mean i had the opportunity to do all those things. But I choose not to. Does that make me a coward, a freak. You could call me a "Plain Jane," but then you don't really know me. Because in subjects i lack in, i make up in different areas. Yeah i don't party, but i can draw (can you?). I don't have sex, but I'm undoubtedly honest to people. I don't do drugs, i have remarkable self-control. I don't drink, because i can wait.

Everyone is suppose to be unique right? Well then why is everyone trying to be the same, to be normal? What is normal? Can someone honestly put a definition in that, can you find it in a book?

Didn't think so.

I will not be defined, by anyone. Yet people still judge me, i can tell. Yeah I've been offered a drink, but when i said no, they tell me why not, i reply that i don't want any. then they give me the "look," the goody-goody look. Sometimes it doesn't bother me. But yet i can't help but doubt myself.

I'll be 21 when i graduate from college, with a degree in Accounting. Do you think by then everyone will stop judging?? I hope so......

My Favorite thing

If you had to choose what your favorite thing in your house, what would it be? Would it be something that was a lot of money? Something that was unique? Handmade? What could you choose?



I would choose, the math clock I bought at Austin, TX.

Why??? Come on Look at it! Take in all its awesomeness. If you don't our family, then you don't know that all of us are gifted with math. (with my mother as an exception). So this Clock, isn't a item that says nerd. (1) its an ice breaker (2) its a torture device (3) its us.

So....whats your favorite thing in your home?

Cake Scare!

It was Bridal Shower Day!! (March 20th) A lot to get done, with decorating to getting the food ready. Thank goodness we had help from our wonderful family. (Tia Anna, Annie, Victoria, Mom, Jessica (the Bride), Dad, and myself.) Without them, we wouldn't have gotten it done in time. If you are reading this you guys, THANK YOU SO MUCH for your help! I, from the bottom of my heart, really appreciate it.

Back to the Cake.

We told the baker that we would go at 2:00 p.m. to go pick it up in McAllen (about 25 minutes away). And as always we were running late, especially since i had to take my cousin with me to help watch the cake on the way. But it was ok, since i called in telling them we were running late. All was well. So we made our way to "Sweet & Tasty #2." The drive over there was fine, it was the taking off that was scary. So as Annie got settled in the backseat, and with help from the baker placing the cake in the van, it was time to take off. I got into the driver seat, turned the key in the ignition, and nothing. The van didn't turn on. So by then i was freaking out! SERIOUSLY! I dialed my Dad, telling him the news. After a minute i realized that the van said it was in "Reverse," so i moved it to park. Waited a while then tried it again, and YES it worked! I was so happy that i was hugging the stirring wheel, really.

But the drive back was nerve racking! Hello, trying to not make a sharp turn, or a rough stop! As Annie said it was like having a baby in the van. We got into town ok, until the last late before we got home. I was going kinda fast, and it suddenly turned yellow. I knew i wasn't gonna make it. So i had to make a sudden stop. And seriously all you could hear was Annie and I, whining, afraid for the cake. But we made it alive and in one piece.

The cake tasted awesome! And most of it was gone! Not really sure if I'm happy or sad about that. LOL

Hacked

Ok, i first decided to create a new blog because my layout was being all weird. My sister, Jessica, told me that she wasn't able to post a comment on my blog. So i looked into it, and i wasn't able to do anything about it.

THEN

I have a setting on my phone that sends me a text message informing me that a change has happened to my password. I have 2 e-mails, and they both had the password changed. Not once, but 3 times. So i got a little fed up and decided to change my e-mail again. So ALAS! Here we are now, me typing on a new blog.